Thanks to so many of you who have responded to my last post about driving being a choice - it's so relieving to hear that Don and I (and a small, select group of our friends here) are not the only ones who think driving all the time is sort of ridiculous. It's unsustainable.
While trying to figure out why some people automatically think we're socialists (we have often been accused of being socialists... by people who obviously need a lesson in world history), Don and I were wondering what makes the car-bound population so incredibly defensive when they make unsolicited retorts to our alternative choices. One of the conclusions we've reached is that some people may view driving as a right they have acquired through years of being poor and having to take the bus (which admittedly, can take a long time depending on where you live). It's like after years of feeling as though one had to compromise, driving is some sort of affirmation that somebody has made it and now has the power to go anywhere they want, in any weather, and faster that everybody else. Overcompensation much? And seriously, this is coming from a girl raised in a west end suburb. I have chosen a life of multiple modes of transportation. And like many of the lovely readers of this blog I don't do it because I'm ugly or poor. I do it because it is active, convenient and fun.
Sigh. Although a car is handy for certain kinds of trips, whether it's universally better or faster is really relative to so many other factors. All I ask is that people give it some thought before resorting to driving all the time. It seems irresponsible to just drive because... one failed to think about the alternatives. And it's unsettling that I keep getting offers of rides out of sympathy. I don't understand how I'm giving people the impression that I need their sympathy... and sadly, realize the offer of rides is just an automatic courtesy. This is what we've come to!
Additionally, people often tell me they HAVE to drive because of certain commitments they have. At my work a lot of people tell me they have to drive because they have kids. Um... okay? I'm not saying I don't get it. I'm just saying it's not necessarily healthy to equate procreating to driving a car. Pursuant to this, I see so many parents complaining about the time and energy it takes to do certain things when signing their kids up for stuff like competitive hockey and year round soccer. Man... driving all over the city (40ish minutes to an hour one way) 4-5 times a week really doesn't strike me as a good time. This sounds awful because I know their kids LOVE the hockey and soccer but... that's just a lifestyle with parameters I can't get on board with. And, this is coming from a 5 1/2 month pregnant girl. Don and I have made a pact about kid activities that result in driving all over the place. We're not doing it. No thanks.
Funny, when I say this to parents who do the whole driving all the time thing they say something like, "Oh, my husband does it" or "That's what you say NOW..." What I find most frustrating is how these people must not take what I'm saying very seriously, and feel as though I'm going to cave or something because I won't be able to help succumbing to the whims of my kid or won't be able to withhold this awesome life of 'opportunity' from the kid. Or ironically, they assume I haven't given it sufficient thought to make a realistic decision about it! Bollocks. I've thought about it plenty.
Also, even if your partner is doing all the driving, that doesn't make it suck any less.
What I want to teach my kid is that driving is unsustainable. It's not absolutely evil, it's just not the only alternative and that's quite alright. Riding a bike over to a friend's place is fun and independent and doesn't have to stop when one has a driver's license. Taking a bus with lots of different people who may or may not be 'poor' is no big deal.
Now... if I can just get my parents to stop giving me grief about my future plans of biking with a kid and taking a bus with a kid:)
In the meantime, this is me before carpooling to brunch and a movie today - my day off! No point to arrive to a movie in 3 separate cars when after a little planning, 1 car can just make 1 trip. Also, living in a super convenient part of town means I'm always easy to pick up and drop off if needed.
And here's a cute picture of Dougal, just because.
16 comments:
Congratulations! I'm totally with you on the raising kids bit. If having a child meant I had to stop cycling and start driving everywhere, I would never have a child, seriously.
Adorable dog - hopefully he won't be too jealous of the baby. :)
I agree with you whole heartedly that driving is not a necessity in many of the situations in which people believe it to be.
And biking is a healthy, fun, sometimes quicker, and usually more stylish (if you do it right) option. I refuse to call it an alternative - that makes cars the norm and all other transportation modes seem somehow "lesser."
I don't get the attacks or the socialist accusations, except that there are a lot of ill informed angry people with nothing better to do with their time. I'm sorry you are forced to endure them via your blog.
I do however sympathize with the people that say, "You say that now!" regarding your baby and plans not to drive to activities located far and wide. While not defending them specifically on this account, as a parent of a 1 1/2 year old I gotta tell you there were a lot of plans that did go down the drain when the realities of parent hood hit, such as bio-degradable diapers (gdiapers). People who say such things can be annoying, but if they've been there, they may just know what they're talking about.
Take care,
Ian
I get the arguments about children and cars from my soon to be wife. While I'm slowly converting her, she still thinks that I absolutely need a car around at all times. My ideal is a family car, used occasionally, when the need fits.
People have been conditioned. Yes, I agree that a car is the most convenient and comfortable way to get around sometimes, that doesn't make it right, healthy, or financially responsible.
People won't change by advocacy though. I've come to that conclusion. Only hard pushes, such as high gas prices, or hard incentives, will make people change their ways. Otherwise they will fight tooth and nail to keep what they've become accustomed to.
Ah, I so enjoy your blog, your beautiful style, and the cute little Dougal!!
I started cycling about a year ago, and first found Copenhagen Cycle Chic, and your blog from there. My perception about what I 'should' wear has been drastically changed, and continues to change all the time. What surprised me most of all when I took up cycling was how much i enjoy it, and how very liberating it is!
I do find it quite amusing, as you say, people feel sorry for me that I 'have to' cycle, and are constantly offering to put my bike in the boot of the car and drive me home.
It doesn't get nearly as cold here in Dublin in Wintertime(1 degree when I left this morning) but the worst is the wind, it gets very gusty which makes it that bit harder to cycle, but enjoyable nonetheless. Happy cycling :)
It sounds like you are getting a lot of negative feedback regarding your choosen mode of transportation. As a single parent who does use a 'mini van' as my primary mode of transportation. I support your choice to use alternative modes of transportation. I recently purchases my first bike (it's from Can Tire so nowhere near as swanky as your bikes...sigh)as an adult last summer but I have not made the transition from car to bike (yet). I am still clinging to the quickness of my minivan and am not ready to wake up at 5am to get my son to school and myself to work. But the thought is there and it brewing and I purchased a bike. I'm getting closer.
If you bike with a child please use those little flags so people know you are towing a young one.
wait. Is this your offical annoucement? Did I miss something? You are 5 months prego right now?
Big big congrats!!!
I will say one thing though- I think some people ( like me) feel guilty about the their inability to not drive all the time. My daughter takes the bus to school. I kind of refuse to drive her the 1.5 mile to school when a bus takes her and eliminates many cars from the road. However she is having a tough time at school. And getting to school is an issue for her. A friend of mine who is very into bike culture and not driving rec that I drove her to school. It kind of broke my heart. B/c I don't want to b/c of the driving thing. But we live just far enough that walking would be an issue. ( my girl kind of hates to walk )and I find it too cold to bike the two of them right now. (tons of snow and people driving badly in snow make me nervous. not to mention they'd rebel) so I find myself in this wierd conundrum of trying to find balance to find a place for my values/teach my kids my values and giving them what they need like mama coming in to school to check in with the teacher and make sure everything is going well. So while I'm not trying to be defensive, it is hard. You never know what your kids are gonna want. Sometimes the girl flat out refuses to get on my bike. They both thwarted my attempts to bike to the farmers market. Boy tot refusing to wear his helmet and girl refusing to even sit down in trailer.
So my point is I completely agree. People seem to think they have this need to drive. And I find that crazy making. I also think sometimes it's just hard.
anyway I can't wait to hear more about the baby!
ooh I forgot to say. So far I've figure out a way to keep her on the bus. I've compromised to driving her once a week to check with with the teacher. When it gets warmer I can bike them.
This may encourage you: http://carfreedays.com/ Anne and Tim are fantastic people, and continue to rise to the challenges of car free parenting with imagination and fun. You're not even close to being alone. Val
Miss Sarah,
Thank you for the thoughtful posts. I enjoy dropping by your blog from time to time.
Edmonton is not that different from Tucson. You have the cold, we have the heat. Temps of 102 to 105 for months drives many people here insane. They do not venture out of doors, except maybe from the parking lot where they've parked their car, to their desk at the office. That's a total of about 3 to 5 minutes.
Everyone drives everywhere. Some people in the neighborhoods where I live drive down to bring their dog to the park to play even, only when the sun starts to set and it cools down. The dogs get more exercise than they do I'm afraid to say.
The same comments that you and yours get are very much like the ones I receive. Instead of socialist, they use terms like elitist, liberal--and they believe that cyclist ask for too many rights--the streets are for cars--and if you ride a bike on the roads you take your life into your own hands. If you get hit by a truck then you deserved it somehow.
I often hear the same joke over and over again, when people find out I'm the bike commuter that rides in from Dog Mtn... "How come you should never run over a Mexican riding a bicycle? Because it could be your bicycle..." I know they're just playing, but I think that pretty much sums up the attitude of people around here.
Best! Bruce
I don't live car-free, but I'm definitely car-light in comparison to ther Denverites. People seem astounded when I tell them I put only 1340 miles on my pickup, last year. (I'm kinda embarassed that I put that many mikes on.)
Oddly, the major reason I don't just sell the truck is that I have two dogs, and frieds in far-flung suburbs. Public transport doesn't allow dogs, and a 50 mile round-trip with two dogs in a trailer makes doggy play-dates a bit daunting.
Not only is it more sustainable to not drive everywhere but you're much better prepared to weather future high fuel costs. I wonder what all these people who have built their entire life around driving _Everywhere_ are going to do when they can't afford gas anymore.
I've got lots of friends having babies who live in Vancouver and they did not start driving when they had their kids. They use the car co-op sometimes, but mostly they bus/bike/walk. And when I've asked them about it they say they find it's much better for the kids - the kids are out interacting with the world rather than bored in a metal box, it's a big learning environment. And because they don't have to focus on driving, the parents get to spend the travel time interacting with their kid. Sounds like win-win to me.
So - go you. It'll be awesome and I've got total faith that one can have a life with a kid and not become a chauffeur. There are lots of ways to raise kids. =)
As an aside, the culture in my circles of Vancouver is the reverse of yours - people are a little ashamed when they admit they drove somewhere and often try to explain their choice. It is nice to live in a place where people respect transit/biking/walking.
"That's what you say NOW..." is the parenting analogue to the line I heard a hundred times over while cycling from Edmonton to New York (but much less while on cycling trips in other countries!): "It's good that you're doing this now, while you can."
That's the line that came from people who I think were secretly jealous of a long cycling trip yet knew they would never go through with it: they needed to convince themselves that their lifestyles now prohibited such things. You know, they had jobs, or they had mortgages, or they had kids.
But LB and I have jobs, and we have a mortgage, and we'll still go on a long bike tour again at some point. We'll be able to do so *precisely because* we don't have cars: we save a good $15,000/year or so by both eschewing cars (counting car payments, insurance, parking at both ends (free at work but counts as a taxable benefit), gas, maintenance, etc.). That pays for many months of not bringing in paycheques!
And when we biked from Canmore to Jasper a couple years ago, we passed a family cycling doing the same trip, backwards, with a 14-year-old daughter. My own sisters, now 10 and 12, have been begging me for years to take them on a similar trip. Kids needn't be a barrier there, either (and certainly not when biking just across town!).
I'm rapidly heading towards not having a point here. How about this?: I've loved your last two posts. Onward!
another great post! have you checked out the Livin Car Free blog? A couple with a small kid who don't have a car and live in Utah. http://bicyclenuts.blogspot.com/
oh and also, Congratulations!!
I love you guys! Thanks for all the supportive comments - you all rock.
Ian & Vanessa, I'm sure I will share your pains sooner rather than later:) But kudos to all of us for at least weighing our options and then doing what we can to be more active and environmentally responsible. I get that with kids, one might have to be flexible and not every battle is going to end in triumph for the earth and ecomobility. But, we've gotta do what we can and some triumphs are certainly better than none.
Ian, tell me more about baby gs!
I know quite a few cycling parents in Edmonton with young children (6 and under).
They all manage! Some of them have cars that they use once in a while (a bit more in winter); all of them have bike trailers. Without exception, the kids all love bikes (even if they can't speak yet, their emotions are pretty clear).
My favourite that I've seen (but don't know) is the family that rides a tandem, with a trail-a-bike connected, pulling a trailer. It's possibly what the American Dream would be if we'd never had cheap oil.
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