"How Are You Doing?"

February 10, 2014

I often feel like I am having the same conversation over and over again. 

These days, the main question I get asked is how I am doing with Don in office. I usually pause to think about how I feel that day, and then reply that I am doing very well. Thanks for asking! Very thoughtful. 

Cue the monologuing from my conversational counterpart. 

But it must be so lonely with the kids. What time does Don get home on average? The events must be tedious. How do we find a balance?!

Let’s take a stab at this:

- The funny thing is, I am not predisposed to loneliness. I really enjoy my solitude. It’s so rare for me to have those moments. Especially now with children, I realize those fleeting moments of quiet and solitude are even less frequent than they were before. Don and I both lead lives that bring us in contact with dozens of people every day, and in Don’s case, probably more. We’re both working in fields that matter immensely to us, and are passionate about our work and our family and each other. Sure, we’re busy. Who isn’t?

- Don gets home around 8-10 pm on most days. We generally also work until 11 pm on Friday and Saturday evenings. I teach until around 8 pm most of the time, so after I’m finished work, grab a bite to eat, and get the kids settled for bed - Don usually arrives home. On most days the kids enjoy a story with their dad. I know we're not the only people out there with two full-time working parents. Not an original story. 

- The events are generally fun! I love meeting people and being out in the community. We knew it was a part of the job (having done a lot of this already with Don’s 6 years of council), and it’s actually rather enjoyable. If I don’t feel up to going to an event I will decline and schedule my time as I see fit. 

- I’m not sure how I feel about this whole “balance” thing, since it’s all relative. We all have different thresholds for stress and the things that life deals out. I adapt. And when I am feeling yucky about something, my friends listen to me complain. 

The conversations I have been having are much like the ones I had before I gave birth to Dexter. People kept warning me what I was in for. When I would reply to questioning (like indicating I would go back to work right away), they always warned me that I didn’t know what I was talking about. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I understand that things don’t always turn out the way people might hope or imagine they will, but do we always have to assume a lack of competence? Life is busy, challenging, fulfilling, and fun! I think we should be encouraged to live it instead of being told to brace ourselves. 
So instead of telling each other to watch out, I think we should be saying, what's next?


Maria K. said...

As a fellow solitude lover, I say, You go, girl!

Stephanie Laskoski said...


Girls and Bicycles All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger